A Happy Relationship is a Successful Relationship

How often do we find ourselves judging present situations based on past experiences? As human as we are it is inevitable to have memories, especially of past relationships. But how we translate such information and feelings (positive or negative) to deal with a current issue is something that may not always be the right solution.

In order to apply useful information from past experiences and siphon out he negative ones, it is essential you make a record. A list of all your past relationships with family and friends, the feelings that impacted you intensely and the viewpoints you formed based on them. Once you have this record, it will be easier for you to organize what values you feel are positive and relevant; and what opinions you think are baseless and immaterial.

Some of the reasons to self introspect in order to have successful and happy relationships are:-

•    Helps in building trust – similar to how you would like your partner or person you are having a relationship with to trust you, it is important that you trust in the person too. Past experiences of someone breaching trust is a major factor of mistrust in present relationships. Unless you have a genuine reason not to believe it is unfair to mistrust based on a suspicion that arises from past experiences. Being consciously aware of what you are thinking and saying will help monitor negative thoughts and create positive energy.

•   Helps in being open minded to the future – predicting your future based on past experiences for security reasons will only create a one track perception of forthcoming experiences. The only problem with foretelling what may happen is that people will usually only consider the worst case scenario and what seems self fulfilling; which is bias in nature. A conscious effort should be made to be open to unforeseen events and not let a distasteful past develop into a similar future. One should use the past as a source of information and not as a means to foresee events; a future that is embraced will help you gain fresh perspectives.

•    Helps in not generalizing people – putting a blanket view on personality types is a way in which you will only categorize the person your relating to rather than understanding them for what they uniquely are. Do not use the foundation of your assumptions to comprehend present people and situations. If you have been repeatedly facing a certain issue, it maybe because you are putting yourself in similar situations or selecting people who do not have the same values or perspective as you.

Past experiences will invariably affect your thought process and beliefs. Drawing lines as to what information and feelings cross over to your present and future will definitely help you create a more mutually satisfying environment. Conscious self involvement is a key to help you sowing seeds to bloom a budding relationship.