Coping with a Control Freak

A control freak wants to run the show and call the shots. They think that they are running the world and just can’t stop themselves until they have got what they wanted or the way they want it. They can be your pushy parents, interfering in-laws, your spouse or even your boss. They are constantly trying to change you or tell you how you should live.

It is not easy to live with a person who is so controlling and it can take its tole on you both mentally and physically. Controlling freakishly is like an itch, it gets worst the more you try to ignore it. There are some tips to cope with some over controlling persons:

Most important is to stay calm. Don’t raise your voice or act agitated while talking. Control freaks create a lot of tension in those around them. So try to maintain a distance. And concentrate on your breathing. This will help you focus and also have a calming effect on the other person. By staying calm you will be able to resolve the problem in a mature manner without taking it personally.

Remember that it is not easy to get over this problem on your own. The control freak needs a lot of understanding, respect and help from you. Listen to them politely and don’t let any issue turn into a power struggle.

One thing you need to realize is that if you keep “giving in” you will diminish in matter of time. It is important to send out the message that you will not be manipulated or intimidated. Learn to say ‘no’ to their undue demands and don’t apologise or give explanations for your actions.

The tendency to become a control freak starts in childhood when the child feels he is not being loved unconditionally, but only for its achievements. So try to develop a trust by getting to know the person better. Best thing you can do is to suggest seeing professional help. Offer your suggestions and make them realize how important it is for you.