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Dating: How to be a good listener

By on September 9, 2008

Your significant one or your special one wants you to be a good listener. Often times it had been seen that not listening is half the problem in relationships. So, you should start thinking about improving your listening skills from today onwards.

First off, make sure you let your date complete a whole sentence before you speak. This way there won’t be any interruption. Your date would be much happier with you if he or she can convey his or her viewpoint to you.

Make it a point from day one that you listen first. You should get rid of all distractions. So while talking to your date, do not think about bungee jumping or what you are going to do in the next hour. These are distractions. Get rid of them. Concentrate only in the present i.e. on your date and what he or she has to say.

Another way of becoming a good listener is to practice the ‘sounding back’ technique. Here’s how that works. Repeat some of the positive things your date just said. But, be careful since, if you emphasize it too much, you might be patronizing your date and nobody likes that. While sounding back, you should make it a point to summarize and restate. This way your date really knows that you are paying attention and actually listening.

Asking the right kind of question plays an important part in communicating effectively or rather being a good listener. When you ask the right question, your date knows that you have been listening to him or her and actually paying attention. However, do make sure that you don’t put words in his or her mouth by asking questions. Ask questions that are empowering. This way you become a good listener.

Yet another key to good listening is waiting for the other person to open up. In a dating situation, often times, people are nervous and they don’t quite open up. They are shy to do so. If you are an active listener, you should be patient with your date. Wait till your date opens up. Don’t push things.

So, in order to be a good listener, you need to be patient. Make sure you ask the right questions. Restate as well as reaffirm everything that your date says. Most importantly, listen first. That’s how you become a good listener to your date.