How does lying affect a relationship?

Our romantic relationships are not always as clear-cut as we would like them to be. From time to time, they can become complicated and full of contradictions and discrepancy. We term lying as valuing our freedom and privacy. But is it really okay to lie or hide things (as good as a lie) from your partner? Someone you promised to be truthful to, for better or for worse?

I absolutely believe in the notion that it takes a life time to build a trust and a moment to destroy it. A lie whether big or small can completely shatter a partner’s trust over his/her counterpart. Remember, love has a very altering and unstable nature and one of the ingredients that make its foundation is—Trust. If the mere foundation starts shaking, that love will eventually crumble down.

Every relationship in this world requires at least a little amount of faith in order for communication and reliability to be acquired. Truth and the faith that the other person is telling the truth is often the base that a partnership is built on. Using deception, whether it comes to light or not, creates distance in a relationship. Lying to a husband or wife has serious penalty. The more people get into the habit of deceiving, they tend to feel less close and they tend to feel more misunderstood by their partners.

It is difficult to feel like a partner knows you, respects you and understands you – if you are constantly lying to him or her. And ironically, the more we lie to others, the less we trust them. We project our own deceptive tendencies on to others. If you think that your partner is being less than completely honest – it can be a reflection of your own dishonest behavior. Moreover, when you lie to someone, you are taking away their right to make their own decisions based on the actuality of the situation. For instance, if you are having an affair but you decide not to tell your partner, you are taking away your partners ability to make decisions about whether they would like to be with you or not.

On the other hand, lying altruistically can bring about synchronization in a relationship.  This act of falsehood generally refers to telling “white lies”. Sometimes, the best way to hurt a romantic partner is by being completely honest and telling them things that he/she does not want to hear. In fact, at times deception serves as a protection. No one can stand to hear everything. And deception is often required because it allows people to share their lives with each other while avoiding situations which cannot always be discussed and resolved.