How To Handle Difficult Sisters-in-Law
When you marry someone it doesn’t mean that you have the responsibility of your spouse only. You are not only married to the person but a new bond has been formed with him as well as his family members.
Marriage is not only about getting two people in a relationship it is a big event which actually creates a bond in the two involved family. Usually when you get married the girl has to leave her home and go to her husband’s house for every. But there is another way around also instead of thinking that you have lost your family members it’s better to think that you have blessed with another set of family members. Generally adjustments are issues in the beginning but if approached with right step these problems can be sorted out soon.
A First Step to Handle Your Sister-in-law; Try to Know About Her Nature
Among all the family members sister-in-law are usually tough creatures to handle. But you need to handle it very tactfully. When you married your husband you knew this fact that he had a sister and so you should be ready to face and manage all these little rifts between you and your sister-in-law.
If handled carefully and tactfully your relationship with your sister-in-law will always be propitious. The first step towards handling your sister-in-law is to identify the problems that you face with your sister-in-law. Is it her habits or her nature which irritates you because there are few things which can be ameliorated with discussions but few things are so innate that you can’t even change it. So just for your reference make a rough list of all the issues that frequently takes place with your sister-in-law so that you can figure it out whether it can be changed or not.
Before your sister-in-law visits you or you visit her try to prognosticate all that can happen and accordingly try to skip from discussions which can result into arguments. Try to avoid everything which can lead to unwanted situations. You know what makes you angry and irritated it is better to avoid those situations and take a sly skip from them. For example if you are with your sister-in-law and something appears on television on which you earlier had an argument with your sister-in-law it is better to switch to other channel and if not better you leave the room in order to avoid arguments and unnecessary rifts.
You can only take responsibility for your actions and discourse. Ignore and avoid all the stimuli which can cause arguments in future. But ignorance also has a limit and if you sense that your sister-in-law is intentionally trying to get your goat then it is the high time you take some serious step. It is okay to ignore little things but your modesty should never be confused with your capability. Never make your sister-in-law habitual of your ignorance.
Involve your husband In This Problem and Convince Him About your Worries
It would be good if you involve your husband in these issues. Try to realize him that your anxiety is genuine and that you are facing difficult situations because of your sister-in-law. Take him in your confidence and let your husband represent your views on your behalf. It would maintain the unity in the family and at the same time your sister-in-law will also get the necessary instructions from your husband to whom she cannot argue.
Here also you need to be a little careful as to when involve your husband and when to keep him out of the female rift. Your choice of the situation should be very wise because if you messed it up once then your husband will always doubt your request the next time you say something to him about his sister. He will develop the feeling that you are trying to create differences between him and his sister. But if you are right on your part it is always good to convey your message through your husband.
To avoid a brawl or to avoid a hostile situation the best thing that you can do is talk about it. A lot of problems are sorted out by negotiation and discussion. Invite your sister-in-law for informal discussion and talk about the issues between both of you. Try to tell her by giving her examples only. Elaborate the situations by keeping her on your place. Let her realize by her own that some of her gestures are not always liked by others. She might have been hurting or disturbing you all on a point that she doesn’t even know. Tell her politely what all actions of her are disturbing or any how affecting you life and life’s schedule.
Try to confront on all the issues but very politely and humbly. Always remember that she is your husband’s sister and so she has a special place in your husband’s life, try to respect her position and at the same time convey your feeling as well. Ask her also to share her point of view it should not look as if you are attacking on him. It should be a dignified and respectful discussion. You should show nice gestures to her after the discussion so that she is assured that you are still not angry with her may be you can invite her for shopping the next day.
Be A Responsible Person For Your Actions and Thinking
You should try to maintain your dignity and along with it convey your message. But it is always you who will suffer and try to maintain calm. You have all rights to talk about your family life and prevent anybody from barging into your family life and disturbing it. You should be modest but your modesty should not be confused with cowardice.
Don’t fear of your sister-in-law and never skip any moment where you can remind her of the boundaries that are set up for her and that she should not cross. But this should be done in a very affable way. Try to move forward along with everybody never accuse your husband for her sister’s behavior. Never put him in a situation where you ask her to choose one form her sister and yourself. If thought tactfully and judiciously sister-in-laws are not that difficult to handle.