Learn To Be Optimistic

Do you believe you have control on your destiny or do you believe you are controlled by destiny? Your answer to this question will till you whether your locus of control (LOC) is internal or external. The word locus means place, center or focus. If you feel that the success or failure of anything is in your hands then you possess an internal locus of control but in case you feel that everything that is happening is beyond your control then you are said to possess an external LOC.

Although it may seem like a trivial trait but it can have a profound effect on the actual output of your actions. Person with external LOC will be less motivated and lazy. They believe that working hard is useless as she/he does not have control over what is going to happen. On the other hand, the person with internal LOC is ready to meet challenges and work hard. The belief that their actions determine outcomes makes them more focused and great achievers.

The kind of LOC you have depends upon your early childhood influences. Most of the times it comes through parents. Parents who feel helpless and hopeless all the time tend to transmit these qualities into their children unconsciously. But remember if we can learn helplessness we can also unlearn it. There are things you can do to change your locus of control.

First of all, you must believe that you always have a choice to change your situation even if the only change you can make is in your attitude. In case you are stuck in a situation make a list of possible course of action. After you have made a list decide on the best option you have. Doing this exercise will help you in seeing new possibilities. You can also practice this when you feel trapped in a frustrating problem.

Parents who encourage children to be independent and help them learn the connection between their actions and consequences tend to have children with more internal locus of control. BUT we must realize one thing that there are certain aspects of life which are beyond our control–like death, storms etc.