Not Attracted To Your Spouse Anymore?

Marriage is a wonderful experience. It however, can put you through some really trying and testing times too.

A successful marriage has many characteristics – great understanding, commitment, sexual compatibility, faithfulness and above all love. Sometimes though, you find that you have everything that a successful marriage has, yet the most vital ingredient – love, goes missing.

The reasons might be many. A lot of people mistake sexual attraction for love and marry on the premise that if they have great sexual compatibility and chemistry, love would follow. Some people mistake infatuation for love. They feel that their desire for the other person is love. However, the infatuation, no matter how deep, can never replace love in a marriage. Ultimately, such marriages are destined for doom and many meet untimely demise due to unforeseen situations.

There are dry spells in all marriages. Even if there is deep love, other commitments can many a times take precedence over love. Love gets pushed to the rear and all the marriage vows lose their meaning. Even if your spouse is your best friend and is with you at all crossroads of your life, there comes a time when the intimacy runs dry and you seek something better from your relationship.

When you feel that you are no longer attracted to your spouse, perhaps you should take a step backwards and view your relationship from a distance. Try to remember why you came together in the first place. How was it that you fell for your spouse? What made the relationship tick? How has your relationship changed over the period of time? Why has it changed?

Then when you have answers for all the above questions, ask yourself the final and most vital one – what has been your role in this change.

If you and your spouse were once deeply connected, look for the sparks. Is it that you, with your mind preoccupied, have neglected your spouse and drove them into the behavior that they have adopted? Are you giving just a half hearted effort to your marriage?

You have chosen to be with each other, for better or for worse. So be determined to pass the intimacy test and come out unscathed, still happily married. If the spark is gone, don’t just sit there thinking that all is lost. Give it a shot. You may still have time to rekindle the flame. If nothing works, seek professional help.

It is not wise to throw away a perfectly good marriage. It is an emotionally challenging task to get over a marriage – one of the most intimate relationships, and start from the scratch. Respect it while you still have it and try to make it work.