Overcoming Perfectionism

For a perfectionist “almost perfect” is not good enough and “just good enough” gives them a feeling of failure. Perfectionists have a very hard time stopping at a reasonable point and proclaim an outcome which often leads to unhappiness.

There are three types of perfectionists. First is self oriented perfectionism, where the person expects perfection from himself. Second is other oriented perfectionism, here the person expects perfection from spouse, boss parents, etc. Third is socially prescribed perfectionism, such people demand perfection from people in general.

The symptoms generally seen in a perfectionist are – they want to do something just right or not do it at all. In fact they avoid doing things they cant do perfectly, as long as possible. Same thing they expect from others and incase they don’t get the result they get angry or feel frustrated. It becomes difficult for them to let go. They will keep on thinking about the mistakes they have made. A perfectionist is not able to take any criticism. Even a constructive criticism will make them feel like an attack to them.

Releasing oneself from perfectionism is not easy. It takes a lot of hard work and time even if you are taking professional help. The voice in your head which keeps on telling you that your work is not good enough or you are not good enough makes it very hard for you to let it go.

If you can relate to these symptoms then you need to go easy on yourself. Take small steps at a time. Accepting a problem in itself is a big achievement. You need to avoid having a negative self talk as this reinforces you to try harder. Try to see the flaws a little less, in case you don’t like something; try to find good points about it immediately. Do it regularly and help yourself on developing a positive habit. You have to realize that for human beings perfectionism is completely unreachable place and is a sure shot route to unhappiness.