Why Are Men So Unemotional?
They say that ‘men are from mars and women are from Venus’, rightly so. Men definitely acquiesce less with there emotions than there female counterparts. Now what causes this difference? It could be an amalgamation of a lot of factors, biological as well as social. Let’s discuss some in details.
Our society has laid down this image of a “perfect man” who is a stoic, a provider, tough, unemotional and free. Men have a lot of pressure from the society to confirm to these attributes, so as to become that perfect man. Hence, when you share a problem with a man you are more likely to get a solution rather than sympathy. Men have been habituated to take action rather than sit there and “crib” about it. There cycle is – FACE—THINK—REACT, while women on the other side-FACE—FEEL—THINK—RELATE (giving sympathy), and then in the end—REACT.
Men do have emotions but there emotions are very limited. For instance, if men get hurt, they feel anger, if they are helpless, they feel anger, if they are hungry, they feel anger and so on. Moreover, have you ever seen men when they come to watch a soccer game? If there team wins they jump on each other, yelling, shouting and cursing! Hence, if they are extremely happy, they are still on the rough side! Tenderness is hard to come by in men.
Another emotional problem that women face with men is ‘the complete shut down’. When women confront men with a lot of heavy emotional stuff related to the relationship, children etc, there mind shuts down automatically, as they have problem taking in so much emotion. At this point they just sit there completely numb, without any reaction whatsoever.
The biological reason for men being so unemotional is because they have a larger amygdala (a brain area which controls emotions and social and sexual behavior). But pre dominantly emotional unavailability in men is due to ‘conditioning’. Men from a very younger age are told that they are not supposed to cry, they are made fun of by family and friends if they show too many emotions. Hence, conditioning them to behave in a set pattern laid down by the society.